“When they sow the wind,
they shall reap the whirlwind..” (Hosea 8:7)
Today’s challenge was to get up early, fight the traffic to Emory St. Joseph on Peachtree Dunwoody and find the right doctor on the right floor for my 9 am appointment.
The third floor to which I was sent proved to be the charm, and I added yet another specialist to my growing doctor list.
Not that there is anything radically wrong with me. But as one lady on the elevator noted, growing old isn’t for sissies.
The drive home was smoother and faster than the ride up 285. In my first act lacking temperance today, I decided I had enough of my current hairstyle and made an afternoon appointment to go for a shorter, chopped cut that will look more adorable ( I hope) when Gail can re-blonde the front this Saturday.
My second act was to buy a new diamond Cross to treat myself for my upcoming birthday. Having lost two previously, I am hoping that like my elevator ride to the top of St. Joseph’s and down, the third time will be the charm and this Cross will stay permanently wreathed around my neck as it should.
Besides, not only did I get it for almost 1/3 the original price, I got $50 in Macy’s reward dollars to spend. I wasn’t temperate about that, either.
In fact, my spirit of rebelliousness has lasted most of the day. I am determined somehow to triumph over the chaos the Fisherman brought to my life. Whether it means reaping a wild wind or not.
At least with my new mussy short crop, it will be hard to tell my hair has been touched by such wind. (Although it did get a bit limp from sweat when I rode my bike this afternoon to the beat of music designed to increase and decrease my pace at various intervals.)
Cutting my hair is always a reaction I have to feeling I have been betrayed and – in a sense – raped by the callous disregard of someone with whom I thought I was in love.
Like Samson, I am shorn, But instead of losing power, I gain strength. There is nothing left for the false lover to take that way, you see. And I can then redefine myself on my own terms as I see fit.
Perhaps I will be blessed and grow to conform myself to the words of St. Augustine, becoming temperate as a result: “To live well is nothing other than to love God with all one’s heart, with all one’s soul, and with all one’s efforts; from this it comes about that love is kept whole and uncorrupted (through temperance). No misfortune can disturb it (and this is fortitude). It obeys only God (and this is justice), and is careful in discerning things, so as not to be surprised by deceit or trickery (and this is prudence).”
And instead of the whirlwind, there will be only the calm of replenishment and refreshment.