“What do you have to offer Me that isn’t already Mine? Stop trying to bless Me. You can’t bless Me! The greater blesses the lessor. Let Me bless you. Only be submissive and let Me lead you daily.” (From “The Prayer Warrior’s Ultimate Handbook”)
Wow, did I need to hear that today. For two days I have been teary-eyed and weary of heart that the sex trafficking event put on by our ministry was not better attended. I know those who did come were sent by God. I know those who attended were the ones God thought most needed to hear the message.
But my woe was about feeling like I failed the ministry and those who may fall victim to the sex trafficked life. I have been in “savior” mode, believing so strongly that if enough people heard and cared, someone, somewhere, would be saved by it.
But that is not my job, to be a “savior.” That was Christ’s job, and his is the only sacrifice that truly counts.
To want to be lauded for doing great things on behalf of God is not the “Little Way” of St. Therese. Nor is it doing “small things with great love” as St. Mother Teresa has said.
Instead I have been trying to do things Saul’s way, to use my own gifts and talents in the manner I deem important, rather than to “wait upon the Lord.” I tried to force something to meet a deadline rather than let God’s will be done. Hence the bitterness of my tears. Everything seems bitter when we don’t have it “our way,” doesn’t it?
”Have it your way.” That’s the world’s message, isn’t it? But like having “alternative facts,” it doesn’t help you live a true life, does it? And while it may be temporarily filling, the hunger always comes back. While the “alternative” reality may be temporarily soothing, new realities come crashing in all the time, don’t they, upending one’s sense of comfort and complacency.
God’s Word, however, never changes. Nor does his desire to offer endless grace and mercy, no matter how many times we do face plants trying to work our own will.
It is not just that works without faith are meaningless. It is that works not led by Spirit are only work and nothing else.
All this I do for the sake of the gospel,
so that I too may have a share in it. (1 Corinthians 9:23)