I need to learn to whisper Jesus’ name.
I am more likely to shout it in moments of fear and frustration. But that is not inviting his presence. And it is his presence I need to live a balanced, purposeful life.
I am struggling right now with that purpose. I have my fingers into too many ministerial pies. Then there is my writing, the gift I thought God gave me to use to his glory.
Instead I seem to be wasting it on Donald Trump and what movie I watched on TCM last night. While it is relevant to write about Trump, especially since I see him as a true threat to our nation, and fun to write about movies, because I love them, what purpose is there to it? Who is being moved by what I do?
I write by feeling, by whatever most moves in that moment and then hope others will be moved by it too. I am not sure they are. But then again, I am not sure they aren’t.
I have never been sure of much of anything in life. That’s why it has felt at times like both a roller coaster and a merry-go-round: all ups and downs and round abouts that never take you anyplace but where you started from.
I need to learn to get off the ride at a new point, and to whisper “Jesus” as I do.